To Yell or Not to Yell?

To say that I'm loud is an understatement. I can remember being very young and constantly having people tell me to lower my voice. That's really annoying, by the way. Anyway. Lately though I've noticed that not only am I yelling more but the boys are yelling more. They yell at each other, they yell at their dad and sometimes they even yell at me. I'm tired of all the yelling. So, I sat the boys down and we all agreed that we would work on yelling less. We would use kinder words to each other and really try hard not to yell. I wasn't sure how well this was going to work, as I yell the most and the loudest. Each day, I remind the boys how many days it has been since we started not yelling and I also remind them to talk with their indoor voices. We are on day 9 and it's going surprisingly well! The first time that I yelled was just two days ago. I caught myself and lowered my voice. It's amazing how now that there is so much less yelling, the boys are struggling more but I expected that, how nicely everyone is getting along. They are playing better, talking nicer to each other. Saying 'please' and 'thank you' more and even being calmer. I had my doubts about this actually working but I'm very proud of all 5 of us! Hopefully we can keep it up!

Welcome to MY 'Normal'!

Welcome to my new blog! This blog is going to serve as a window to my world. I had originally wanted this blog to be private and I was going to use nicknames, however, after talking with a certain friend, I have decided to be as open an honest as possible. There are things in here that I'm going to be talking about that are hard to write about and hard for others to read but if I am hiding behind a computer and a nickname, how will anyone take me seriously? So, here we go... I am Ashley. I'm a 28 year old stay at home mom married to my husband, Matt. I have four boys... Kaelam is 6 years old and in first grade. He is sweet, caring, quiet and sensitive. He is a perfectionist, poor kid. Next is Tiny. Tiny is 4 and in PreK. He is loud, spunky, goofy and wants to make everyone laugh. Then there's Ryker. Ryker is 3 years old and in preschool. He is loving, caring, funny and a handful. Last is Bubba. Ok, so I'm still using a couple of nick names but Tiny and Bubba is what they go by all the time so they don't count as nick names. Lol. Bubba is 2 going on 15. He is my brat. You will see the word 'brat' used often in my writing. In my house, brat is a term of endearment. Bubba is as far from a people pleaser as possible. He just wants to have fun and make his brothers laugh. He also enjoys taking their toys and listening to the yell as they chase him to get the toys back. In addition to being a child hoarder, I'm also a bit of an animal hoarder... Or so I'm told. I have 4 dogs and 5 cats. As if I'm not busy enough raising all of these kids and animals, I also have numerous 'jobs' and activities outside of the house. I'll end up doing separate posts on each of these but I'll list them for the time being. I have a custom vinyl design business making everything from party decor and favors, to t-shirts, to wall art, etc. I also have an event planning business. I do everything from weddings, to parties, to showers. I'm even an ordained minister! But the thing that takes up the most of my time outside of the house is my work in suicide prevention and awareness. I have lost a few people to suicide and I am VERY passionate about my work. Part of that work is facilitating a support group for people that have lost someone to suicide. I also volunteer with a group called the LOSS Team where we are called to the scenes of suicides to meet with the friends and family of the person that died and offer them support and resources. I'm a quiet and shy person until I get to know you and then there is no shutting me up! Once I break out of my shell, I'm loud, obnoxious and have a crude sense of humor. I also swear like a sailor... I'm working on that but I wouldn't hold my breath. (THERE WILL BE SWEARING IN THIS BLOG. I WILL DO MY BEST TO TONE IT DOWN BUT IT WILL BE IN HERE.) Like my mom says, "Sometimes there just isn't a better word to use than f*@k!" Sorry for calling you out, mom.  :) I guess I should try and explain the title of my blog. A Hop, Skip and a Jump Away... From Normal. My family is not normal, for many reasons. Than again, what IS normal? We may not be YOUR normal but we are OUR normal. Having 4 boys so close in age is not 'normal.' My style of punishment for the boys (I'll do a separate post on it as well) is not 'normal.' My extended family situation is not 'normal.' Ryker is not 'normal.' Also another post. My having 9 animals is not 'normal.' My almost obsessive work with suicide is not 'normal.' My tattoos are not 'normal.' I think you get the idea. What I'm trying to say is that although we may not be society's version of 'normal,' we are still normal. It's that we are just a hop, skip and a jump away... from normal.